Pregnancy Requires Safety
The honest answer to "Do You Want More Children?"
The short answer is yes, I would love more children. But I didn’t always feel that way.
The question that is often asked is so much more complex. For some, the question is rude, invasive, or triggering. It’s just as bad as asking “when are you going to have a baby”. That question doesn’t leave room for the reality of fertility challenges or pregnancy loss grief or undecided individuals altogether.
For me, pregnancy requires safety.
Emotional safety
Financial safety
Physical safety
When someone would ask when I’m going to have a baby, my clap back was when are you going to pay for them.
The mental readiness of motherhood shifted in me overtime. A long time.
When I witnessed my best friend give birth at her Grandmother’s home in 2021 I was in awe and very sure I was not ready to do the same thing. The experience though allowed me to feel comfortable exploring and consuming research about pregnancy and birth altogether.
By the time my Dad transitioned in 2022, I had a profound desire to have a baby because I aspired for my mother and mother-in-law to have an earthly relationship with their grandchild, while my father and father in-law would only have a spiritual bond.
In May of 2022 I experienced a miscarriage and the road was tumultuous from then on. In hindsight, I understand that I wasn’t ready then. We as a couple were not ready. And our baby came back when the time was right 2 years later, May 2024.
The miscarriage was evidence that I had the ability to get pregnant. I honor that experience because it kept me from falling into a deeper despair of “what if I can’t” scenarios.
For these main reasons pregnancy requires safety for me. My obstacles were not could I get pregnant but rather could I stay pregnant.
My conception journey to motherhood overturned my work habits, food habits, friendships, family relationships, spiritual perspectives and so much more. I have been hospitalized for my anxiety once and I vowed to not return there again. I had no choice but to do everything differently. This was my journey and I’m a better, healthier and happier version of myself because of it.
Oftentimes motherhood is the turning point for people, but for me it was my conception journey.
Today is Mothers Day 2026.
My son will be 2 years old in a few weeks. I started dreaming about his sibling since the end of last year and this year their presence has gotten stronger. I saw a vision of their birth on the night I found out I was pregnant with my son. I believe spirit babies choose us and come when they are meant to. Their timing is divine.
So what am I doing about this desire for another child?
I’m building.
I’m actively working toward the safety I mentioned at the top of this article.
I’m building revenue sources to provide the financial safety I need to stay pregnant because I know what the stress and anxiety of it all can do to my nervous system.
I’m doing my best to build my physical safety. Paying out of pocket for acupuncture and committing to strength training 2-4 times a week.
For me, the conception journeys are preparation and practice. Pregnancy is the ultimate incubation mode. And by time I get to delivery I want to feel the peace of time, space, and emotional capacity to just be present.
When I had my son my W-2 job gave me that peace. Working fully remote allowed me to nap when I needed and eat when needed and pump when needed and step away when needed. IYKYK. Now working for myself I have to construct that financial stability and time flexibility reality for myself. The stakes are higher, yet the rewards are sweeter because I’m hard at work for my highest and greatest good.
I am nervous about it all. I have a lot at stake. However my determination and passion is louder than my fears. I fully trust that everything I have earned is mine to keep. There is nothing that I have that God has not already provided a way for me to maintain it. I am committed to staying obedient to my purpose driven career path and asking God daily to demonstrate what’s possible by using me and my life as a testimony to my submission to their plan over my life.
P.S. Want to contribute? Consider me for contract roles, business coaching, producing roles or more. Reach out to learn more about my current services and share my contact information with someone you know that might want to hire me.
Peace + Love,
Stephanie